Even the most corrupt of sports franchises (The Redskins) and the biggest squid of an owner (Dan Snyder) should do the bare minimum and take care of the health of their players, don't ya think? We're giving them too much credit here.

Backup quarterback slash starter backslash who the fuck really knows or cares anymore Colt McCoy will sit out tonight's (Thursday's) preseason game because his injury from LAST DECEMBER is still bothering him. Seriously.

Keep in mind this isn't the worst injury the Redskins have somehow botched recently. Something sketchy is going on there, and I'm not even gonna mention RG3.

McCoy broke his leg last season, and the team basically didn't give it enough time to fully heal before putting him back on the field. Sound familiar? He had a third "minor surgical procedure" on his leg just this spring, which for a basic broken leg... sure seems like a lot. McCoy was just the second Redskins quarterback to break his leg and have it become extremely complicated afterwards. Alex Smith suffered a horrific leg injury last season, only to battle a post-op infection that he's still recovering from. He says he wants to play football again, but I highly doubt he will.

Let's keep going, shall we? Derrius Guice, their supposed new star player, tore his ACL last preseason and is also ruled out for tonight's game and still hasn't been cleared by the medical staff to play. He also needed three surgeries, and had to be on a fucking IV all day.

There's more. Su'a Cravens almost retired because of how badly the Redskins handled his concussions, then promptly called them out for being shady and "withholding information." DeAngelo Hall hated the training staff. Trent Williams is literally holding out and refuses to play because he hates the training staff.

Not trying to point any fingers here (I totally am) but someone needs to check this shit out pronto before the entire team's heads fall off or something equally as tragic.

Chicago Bears offensive lineman Kyle Long has been fighting frequently during this year's training camp - once last Sunday, and once on Wednesday, when he did this:

Please note the barfing. Sorry, my guy, but if you want to beat a dude's ass that badly that you're barfing over it, you need to sit down and relax. Do some yoga. Have a beer. 

Long was ejected from practice because of it, and head coach Matt Nagy was  less than pleased. 

Jerry Jones is a weird dude. And this is seen as a weird ass comment by many, but for me, he's literally speaking my language. When asked about the various unresolved contracts of his star players, he said this. Just... yeah read it.

Ok that's totally not the way I talk, although I will ask you who your favorite serial killer is any day of the week.

Jones went on to explain (normally) that while the team ​and quarterback Dak Prescott are far apart from agreeing to terms, it doesn't affect his play and performance during camp, so he's got that going for him. Ezekiel Elliott is a different story -- he hasn't been to camp yet. But ol' Jerry is sure he's in tip top shape so he can be back to normal when he returns. If he returns. 

Indianapolis Colts QB Andrew Luck's latest debilitating injury is a "small little bone," according to Jim Irsay. I'm twelve years old, so naturally my thought was, "is he talking about his dick?"

But, no. Here's the timeline:
Luck has had a calf strain since April and didn't participate in any of the Colts' offseason activities or practices. In May, head coach Frank Reich insisted it was "just a calf strain." Mhmm. Fast-forward to training camp and Luck has been sitting on the sideline twiddling his thumbs the whole time while the team has pushed aside questions, while insisting he's just fine and dandy, and they're just being cautious.

When have we seen this before? Oh yeah, just about a year and a half ago, when Irsay insisted Luck will start the season opener, only to have him sit the entire season.

One of the biggest questions is if this is somehow related to his mysterious calf strain, or if this is a whole other issue. The Colts are a strong team that can make a hard playoff push with Andrew Luck -- without him is another story altogether.

I'm literally on Season 2 Episode 3 of Antonio Brown's bullshit and I'm eating it up. 

After Brown's complete and utter shit fit, he now basically has to find a new helmet ASAP. Problem is, he wants a specific kind of helmet that he's in love with, but they're hard to come by. His idea? Ask Twitter.

First - what's with the quotes?

Second - this isn't an extremely terrible idea, social media frequently makes things happen.

Third - I'm ready for Episode 4 because there's no way he's gonna find this specific helmet that he wants, right?