Oakland Raiders head coach Jon Gruden had the most head-scratching comment of any NFL training camp and yet, at the same time makes me salivate at the mouth wanting to watch Hard Knocks right this second cause I gotta know what's in the water over there. Just read this:
First of all, the fact that Nathan Peterman is still on a real football team just blows my mind. I fully believe that I am a better quarterback.
Second, reading this quote -- literally none of that is true besides the "nightmare performances" part.
I hope Hard Knocks is just Gruden slamming shots 24/7 cause that's what it sounds like.
The Miami Dolphins are Miami-Dolphins-ing again. While the Arizona Cardinals allowed Josh Rosen to get absolutely destroyed last season behind a swiss cheese offensive line, everyone rolled their eyes when Rosen went to Miami.... just to have to deal with being behind an equally shitty one.
Is change on the way?
The Dolphins fired their offensive line coach Pat Flaherty (no, not the one who snorted a ton of cocaine), after just having the job for six months.
I feel like you have to try really hard to be that bad. This smells like a "I'm setting an example so that you guys know I'm seriously serious" move.
So, in other words, the offensive line that is supposed to be protecting THE goat Josh Rosen, was so fucking bad that the brand new coach got fired after a week. Sweet, that makes me feel good.
AJ Green's annual injury came around early this year, as he was hurt during the Cincinnati Bengals' first training camp practice. You can't make that up if you tried.
Green was taken off the field on a cart (never good) with an injury to his left foot, which seemed to happen on this play:
It's reportedly a sprained ankle, but I feel like everyone says that. Green missed seven games last season, with like 27 different toe injuries, and has been injured more often than not in the past five seasons. I've said this before and I'll say it again: If you get tagged with the term "injury prone," you'll always be injury prone until you're not anymore. AJ Green is still injury prone.
This sucks though:
New York Giants WR Golden Tate was suspended for the first four games on Saturday. The reason? A fucking fertility drug. His statement, also posted on Saturday, explained that his doctor prescribed him a medication which had an ingredient in it that is on the NFL's version of the No Fly List.
I get the reasoning behind these things, and I'm not gonna be THAT person who complains about how someone can beat their wife and get less games than you can for taking a fertility drug, but here we are.
Jacksonville Jaguars cornerback Jalen Ramsey is at it again and I love him for it. After being informed by the Jags that he shouldn't be planning on getting a new contract this season, Ramsey stated that he would show up for training camp anyway.
We just didn't know he'd do it like this. We were stupid.
Ramsey showed up in an armored truck, surrounded by bags of money, because of course he did.
I LOVE this shit. Anyone who gets mad at it, hates fun and should be banned from watching football ever again. He's not doing anything bad or malicious, like say... beating his wife. He's simply having a little fun, and making a crystal clear statement while doing so.
One of my favorite things about Jalen Ramsey is that he talks so much shit, but can back it up fairly well. The NFL needs more players that aren't afraid to speak their minds and do shit like this. It's pure entertainment.
Mark Sanchez officially retired from the NFL on Tuesday, which is weird because I thought he retired already. But anyway, he retired because A) he's taking a college football job at ESPN, and B) he sucks now.
But, alas, we have had some FANTASTIC moments -- and for these, we will always be grateful for Mark Sanchez.
Of course, I couldn't start this without mentioning first and foremost...
I just don't have any words for this one. It's literally art.
The time he peed his pants on the field.
Ok so he doesn't actually pee his pants on the field, so sorry if I misled you. He jumped 50 feet in the air, at least.
I still can't believe this shit. Yes, this is Rex Ryan's wife in a Mark Sanchez jersey on Rex Ryan's arm. Whatever he drank that night, he should never have it again.
That time he picked the fuckin NEW YORK JETS to go 13-3 just mere months ago. Jesus Christ, man.
the time he beat tom brady in his own house.
Hahahaaha yeah that actually happened too. Come to think of it, if you told me any of these things happened to Mark Sanchez besides the buttfumble, I probably wouldn't believe you.
But yeah, he was one of two quarterbacks to ever beat Tom Brady and the New England Patriots in their own house in the playoffs.
.... who is the other one you ask? You guessed it, Joe Flacco. How about that.
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