Monday Morning Football: What a fantastic week one for my brand

This was everything I wanted and more. I feel like I'm signing that Kelly Clarkson song "A Moment Like This." Go listen to it.

THe Highlights:

• Matt Ryan STINKS. Those bums couldn't score a point until the fourth quarter when the other team started to tire out. I'd say forfeit the season, but I'd lose so much great content. Matt Ryan also threw 2 picks. 
  
• Kyler Murray showed was he was made of (a little bit). Even though it wasn't enough for a comeback win, he still rallied until the finish, and sometimes that's all you can ask for in your first start as a rookie. Not as good as Josh Rosen could have done, but still.
• Lamar Jackson and Marquise Brown ran the show against the Dolphins, dropping a fifty burger in a statement win. Don't hate me for this, but I am a little skeptical since it is the Dolphins and they are clearly the worst team in the league. I don't want this team to get over-confident; they need to take it week-by-week.

Lamar Jackson really went there □ pic.twitter.com/NTAyjYQwLW

— ESPN (@espn) September 8, 2019

• Dak Prescott made his case for a new contract ASAP with an easy win against the Giants, tossing four touchdowns and over 400 yards. I'm still not quite sure if the Cowboys are that good or the Giants are just that bad, but that is something I'm sure we'll get to in the coming weeks.
• Sammy Watkins is good, even though Twitter wants to tell you he isn't. He scored three touchdowns in Sunday's win over the Jags. QB Patrick Mahomes was gimpy at points during the game, but thankfully was nothing too alarming. Forever idiot Tyreek Hill was ruled out of the game with a shoulder injury, in Things You Hate to See for $500, Alex.
  
• Austin Ekeler had himself a day for the Los Angeles Chargers, further hindering Melvin Gordon's contract talks that has me screaming "Running backs are replaceable" from the rooftops. 
  

"GET OUT OF MY WAY." - @AustinEkeler □ #INDvsLAC

□: CBS
□: NFL app // Yahoo Sports app

Watch on mobile: https://t.co/PoZiStO3mL pic.twitter.com/MEjRTQAf7h

— NFL (@NFL) September 8, 2019

• CJ Mosley had himself a day for the New York Jets (before leaving the game with a groin injury), even though Ravens fans told me time and time again that he was bad and wouldn't amount to anything in NY. Funny how that works.
• DeSean Jackson had himself a revenge game against the Redskins, pulling out a close win for the Eagles.
  

the Lowlights:

• The Browns flopped. It's still Week One, so people need to seriously chill on this whole "they're what we thought they were" bullshit, but this team needed a statement win BADLY, and they didn't get it. It doesn't help that QB Baker Mayfield left the game with his wrist wrapped. They said it was just a bruise, but we all know that may not be the whole story. Greg Robinson also got ejected for kicking Titans safety Kenny Vaccaro ​straight in the fucking head. Control yourself, dude.
• Adam Vinateri missed TWO field goals and an extra point, which is almost unheard of for him. If he made those, the Colts most likely would have won that game.
• Jacksonville Jaguars QB Nick Foles is out for probably forever at this point with a broken collarbone. If there is any good news to this, backup Gardner Minshew didn't look too bad, but it's the Jags so who really knows at this point. Jacksonville plays Houston next week.

QB @NickFoles on rookie QB @GardnerMinshew5:

"I was really proud of him stepping up and I'm going to be here to help him anyway possible." pic.twitter.com/JDbMQhLboA

— #DUUUVAL (@Jaguars) September 8, 2019

• The Rams won, but Todd Gurley didn't really do much, after reports came out on Sunday that the team had "no idea" how his knee will hold up this season. We still don't really have any idea, do we?
• Jameis Winston is bad. Not even Bruce Arians​ can help him at this point. It's hopeless.
  

Monday night preview

• Texans @ Saints - I'd say that the Saints are just obviously the better all-around team here, but the Texans are also the dumber one. So here we are. W - Saints
  
• Broncos @ Raiders - They truly saved the best for last and we get to close out Week One with our lord and savior and  we get to see him do it on a fuckin baseball field. What a gem. Easy. W - Broncos