Ray Lewis speaking dead last at Hall of Fame induction ceremony

I'm allowed to make Ray Lewis murder jokes too right?
The Pro Football Hall of Fame announced the order of speeches for the enshrinement ceremony, and knowing it was going to take fucking FOREVER, they put Lewis last. I don't feel like staying up until 2am to watch this thing, so I'm now thinking of hiring someone to make a Cliffs Notes version for me. God this, God that, Prosper this, Enlighten that. Can't wait.

Just Announced: The official speech order for the 2018 Enshrinement Ceremony on Aug. 4th #PFHOF18 pic.twitter.com/I7xibsFoav

— Pro Football Hall of Fame (@ProFootballHOF) July 17, 2018

​Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed Lewis' speeches while he was a player - even though they were a bit over-done at times, they always seemed motivating. It was his schtick and it worked. I just think he's kind of over-doing it now that he's not playing football. In a nutshell - I wish he'd stop saying such dumb shit.

I hope he keeps his HOF speech to more of a football theme, but I am already anticipating the worst. Should be killer.

buzz-worthy:

• Arizona Cardinals GM Steve Keim plead guilty on Tuesday to an extreme DUI charge. I wonder what differentiates from a normal DUI to an extreme DUI (I see it in my head written in like the Monster energy drink font). The Cardinals announced a 5-week suspension for Keim, as well as a $200,000 fine. 
• Pittsburgh Steelers RB Le'Veon Bell's agent stated on Tuesday that he plans to skip training camp and show up before the first game. Pretty cool that he just gets to do whatever he wants, eh? 
• Atlanta Falcons player Matt Ryan held a passing camp earlier this week, as if that would make him better. Guess who showed up? The mysterious Julio Jones.
• Brent Musberger will be announcing Oakland Raiders games on the radio, per his three-year deal. He'll continue when the team moves to Vegas. (The most memorable thing about this dude is when he creeped on AJ McCarron's gf in the stands)
• After 18 years, Boomer Esiason won't be calling the Monday Night Football radio broadcasts anymore. 
• New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton talked up his QB Drew Brees, despite his age: "It's different than it used to be...  When you see Tom Brady and these guys, they're eating; they're lifting; they're sleeping differently.... It's changed a lot.... Then when you take that and the work ethic and the talent and put it all together you get Drew Brees and you get someone special."
• Dallas Cowboys DE Randy Gregory has been reinstated by the NFL as of Tuesday. He missed last season due to a substance abuse violation. 
• WR Brandin Cooks signed a five-year extension with the Los Angeles Rams on Tuesday. 
• Today in stupid: The Detroit Lions are looking into getting a retractable roof on their stadium IN DETROIT to be used IN THE WINTER. Just spend a ton more money on something you're gonna keep closed most of the time anyway! Sounds great. The only way I'm on board with teams in cold weather cities getting retractable roofs  is if they keep it open on purpose during snow games.
• Former NFL RB Dexter McCluster is heading to the CFL. He signed a contract with the Toronto Argonauts. What the hell is an argonaut

What I'm reading today:

• Jay Cutler stalks a deer, wants to fire all his wife's assistants (Pro Football Weekly)
• Why Bell likely turned down the Steelers' reported five-year, $70 million offer (Steelers Depot)
• Manny Machado's nephew gave his prediction as to where he thinks his uncle will end up (MLB/Cut 4)
• Business Insider says Tom Brady's given up at least $60 million to help the Patriots (Patriots Wire)
• Bears QB Mitch Trubisky: Offense 'more complex, easier to execute' than in 2017 (Chicago Sun Times)

last word:

A girl’s three-part Instagram story wishing her friend a happy birthday is the first thing you see when the gates of Hell open

— Sara Civ (@SaraCivian) July 16, 2018