HE HAS ROSEN

9/25/2018

Yes, yes. The time has come. Am I a Cardinals fan now? I might be.

The Arizona Cardinals announced on Monday that Josh Rosen will be their new starting QB. Rosen will replace Sam Bradford, whose only talent seems to be completely finessing money out of every single team in the NFL.

Rosen was hung out to dry on Sunday after his team let him enter the game while they were already down (even though they should have started him Week One and saved all this mess, but they don't listen to me), but "handled it well," according to head coach Steve Wilks. Music to my goddamn ears.

Arizona started the season 0-3 under Bradford's sleeves, and now Rosen will take over the reins - the only way he's gonna learn is to get out there. It won't hurt to have RB David Johnson and future Hall of Fame WR Larry Fitzgerald to play with, either. Rosen gets to go against the Seattle Seahawks' defense this week, and I am here for it.

buzz-worthy:

The Matt Ryan-excuse generator has now landed on......... Defensive Starters Getting Injured. The Atlanta Falcons lost S Ricardo Allen to a torn Achilles during Sunday's game. S Keanu Neal is also done for the season.
The San Francisco 49ers confirmed on Monday that QB Jimmy Garoppolo has torn his ACL and is done for the season. Good thing his girlfriend has probably played a nurse before.
-clears throat- -yells from the rooftops- Joseph Flacco and the Baltimore Ravens are the first team in league history to score 12 touchdowns on their first 12 trips to the red zone. Could not for a single second be your QB.
Amongst rumors of a trade this offseason, New England Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski stated that he would retire over playing with a different team and wouldn't go anywhere without Tom Brady. Like are you attached at the hip or
As expected, the Cleveland Browns have also made a change at QB. Baker Mayfield is the latest Browns QB. It's entirely possible that that is not a good thing at all.
Miami Dolphins DE William Hayes tore his ACL trying to avoid a roughing the passer penalty - which apparently you get nowadays if you breathe within ten feet of a quarterback. "He was trying not to put weight on the the quarterback," said Adam Gase. "His foot got caught in the ground."
This quote is absolutely delicious. Please read with a fine cup or glass of your favorite beverage and breathe it in deeply. On the Detroit Lions, "I think they clearly outplayed us and out-coached us today." - Bill Belichick. Read it again.
Los Angeles Rams CB Aqib Talib may need surgery on his ankle and will get a second opinion Tuesday. CB Marcus Peters also left Sunday's game with a calf injury. Not great!
Green Bay Packers (yeah I had to do a double-take there also) DL Muhammad Wilkerson stayed overnight in a DC area hospital after a "significant injury." He's dunzo for the season.
More idiotic calls during Monday Night Football, peaked with Oscar-worthy performances from Ben Roethlisberger made for a great night*! *not