Sam Darnold is the lone first-round QB who is starting Week One

Look at that face. That's the face of a starting NFL quarterback (or a human Lego person). The New York Jets announced on Monday that their first-round pick Sam Darnold will start Week One. This shouldn't be that big of a surprise if you've been paying attention to Jets' camp slash preseason (I know it's probably exhilarating). It was probably even less of a surprise when they traded away Teddy Bridgewater. Darnold's other competition was Backstreet Boy Josh McCown, who's been on every single NFL team at this point. 

Darnold will be the youngest quarterback to start for an NFL team on opening weekend since 1970. He's 21, which makes him about 12. He's the only quarterback drafted in the first-round who will be starting (at least right now) among ​Josh Rosen (who I'm willing to be money on will start before the season is over), Lamar Jackson (who will sit for at least a year), Josh Allen (I'd also expect him to start at some point this season after the Buffalo Bills begin their annual downward spiral), Baker Mayfield (same - add him to the infamous Cleveland Browns jersey ahead of time).

buzz-worthy:

• Colin Kaepernick and Nike dunked on everyone. 

Believe in something, even if it means sacrificing everything. #JustDoIt pic.twitter.com/SRWkMIDdaO

— Colin Kaepernick (@Kaepernick7) September 3, 2018

• Baltimore Ravens rookie K Kaare Vedvik is said to be released from the hospital soon after being robbed and assaulted in Baltimore City late last week. Coach John Harbaugh said on Monday that the team was fielding trade offers for him before having to put him on the NFI list. We'll have to see what comes out of this one, I wouldn't be caught in that area at noon on a Tuesday.
• The Tampa Bay Buccaneers claimed one of my favorite Hard Knocks stars (just because he's so extra) Carl Nassib. Wait until he finds out there's no income tax in Florida.
• Hahahaahahaaha guess what. The Bills are starting Nathan Peterman for Week One. At quarterback. In real life. On purpose. He goes up against the Ravens defense, which is not great for him! Hahahahaha 
• In a very disappointing turn of events (not), Pittsburgh Steelers RB Le'Veon Bell didn't show up for practice on Monday, after denying a report that he would join the team after Labor Day.  So sad. What a shame. The team released a statement saying they were "disappointed" that he hasn't shown up. 
• Browns WR Josh Gordon on track to play Week One after practicing on Monday. Gordon had a hamstring issue and ultimately has to win his starting role back, but I think we'll see him on the field sooner rather than later.
• The Philadelphia Eagles are starting QB Nick Foles in the season-opener this Thursday, making him the best starting QB in that matchup. After plenty of back-and-forth this week, and coach Doug Pederson almost losing his damn mind over it, Philly is holding Carson Wentz out just a little bit longer.
• In news that should surprise NO ONE, Paxton Lynch went unclaimed after being cut by the Denver Broncos. So far, he has a visit with the Bills, but I can't imagine many more teams would want another bad quarterback. 
• "WR" Breshad Perriman is visiting the New York Giants and the Bills (wtf? Do the Bills want good players or just bad ones?) after being finally cut by the Ravens this weekend. In all honesty, I hope he catches on somewhere.
• Todd Gurley is just glad the Los Angeles Rams don't have to see much of Khalil Mack anymore, and he's not afraid to just fucking say it. “I’m just glad Khalil Mack got traded to the Bears and I don’t have to worry about him Week One," he told reporters on Monday. 

what I'm reading today:

• This is Personal by Stephen Curry (The Players' Tribune)
• Jet-setting Instagram model dies on billionaire's yacht (Daily Mail)
• What's bothering Arizona Cardinals quarterback Sam Bradford? Not much at all (AZ Central)
• Jaguars QB Blake Bortles ready for increased expectations (Florida Times-Union)
• It takes a year before tight ends really catch on to NFL game (ESPN)

last word:

The “I’m boycotting Nike” starter kit pic.twitter.com/JxuYoKXQiY

— jordan (@JordanUhl) September 3, 2018