The Browns and Steelers both suck

The Cleveland Browns finally ended their 16-game losing streak - with a fuckin tie. Ladies and gentleman, this is the best thing I've ever watched. 

Both teams were sloppy, and while you could chalk that up to the bad weather, the Pittsburgh Steelers somehow had six turnovers and they still couldn't win. You just hate to see it. QB Ben Roethlisberger threw three interceptions and lost two fumbles. QB Tyrod Taylor made some awful throws. Both teams missed kicks in overtime. Just an overall shitshow. And I was drooling over every second of it.

Division rivals the Baltimore Ravens and the Cincinnati Bengals play each other on Thursday Night Football for an early AFC North crown.

buzz-worthy:

• Even with getting a mere 37 yards and one touchdown on Sunday, and needing a new QB not named Sam Bradford (hmmm.. if only they had one), Arizona Cardinals RB David Johnson finally got his contract this weekend. Johnson signed a three-year deal, keeping him in Arizona until 2021.
• Tennessee Titans veteran TE ​Delanie Walker was carted off the field on Sunday with what looked like a leg fracture. Walker was one of three notable Titans who left the game with injuries, including LT Taylor Lewan and QB Marcus Mariota. Walker reportedly dislocated and fractured his ankle.
• The Baltimore Ravens put an end to the Nathan Peterman experiment, completely demolishing the Buffalo Bills 47-3. Both teams ended up sitting their starting QBs (for different reasons). This was a game the Ravens needed after last season made me want to kill myself.
• Philadelphia Eagles QB Carson Wentz is on his way back from a knee injury, but may be back as soon as Week Three. Wentz sat for Week One and and will probably sit for Week Two (even though he hasn't been officially ruled out), but could be back sooner than originally thought. No real need to rush him back if the Eagles are going to continue to sweep the floor with teams like they did with the Atlanta Falcons on Thursday.
• Carolina Panthers TE Greg Olsen was one of three Carolina Panthers who left Sunday's game with an injury. Olsen left with a foot injury (unclear if it's the same foot he had surgery on last season). Other injured Panthers were LB Luke Kuechly and T Daryl Williams.
• New England Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski resisted a trade and threatened to retire rather than play for another team. Totally not dramatic at all.
• Cincinnati Bengals S Shawn Williams becomes the first player to see the results of the new helmet targeting rule. Williams was ejected from the game after a hit on Indianapolis Colts QB Andrew Luck.
• Minnesota Vikings QB Kirk Cousins is trying to trademark the phrase, "You Vike That!" I have no other comment except that I'm so embarrassed for him. 
• Andrew Luck needs to stay the fuck inside. He admitted to a longtime rumor that he injured his shoulder while snowboarding, stating, "I don't snowboard anymore." Jesus Andrew I sure as hell hope not.
• Green Bay Packers QB Aaron Rodgers left Sunday night's game on a cart with a knee injury. Rodgers went down, grabbing his left leg and I want to crawl in a hole and die. UPDATE: Disregard everything that I just said - Aaron Rodgers is the GOAT and give him the NFL MVP right now. 

What i'm reading today:

• Les Moonves was obsessed with ruining Janet Jackson's career after wardrobe malfunction in Super Bowl (Huffington Post)
• LA's 'Old Man Rivers' still gets a charge out of hanging out with the young guys in the locker room (LA Times)
• Randy Gregory suffered relapse in August, might face discipline from NFL  (ESPN)
• Jaguars' Calais Campbell on Giants' Saquon Barkley: 'He might one day be a Hall of Famer' (NJ.com)
• 49ers' Jimmy Garoppolo suffers first loss; Vikings defender says, 'He's starting to get scared' (The Mercury News)

last word:

That scene in Cleveland raucously celebrating the tie is one of the best things you’ll see all season and it’s week goddam 1. Such a fantastic moment in Cleveland sports history.

— KFC (@KFCBarstool) September 9, 2018